Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Help When the Baby is Teething

  Yesterday was one of those days. 
One of those days that you sit in the rocking chair, develop odd facial twitches, feel sobs push up, but you shove them back down because to sob over a teething baby would be silly. 
"I am so tired " I told my husband, "but I am not complaining" I hasten to add. 
"I got so little sleep, but I am NOT complaining" I said 
He looked at me sympathetically. "I can handle my job" I say desperately. 
He hugged me, "I know babe, I know you can, it's ok to tell me". 
The sympathy pushed me over the edge, "I'm just so tired and worn out from nursing every 30 min and noboooody to bring me food" I wailed.
 "But I am not complaining"! I draw back and give him a steely eyed look. 
I push away from his wide solid chest because if I stay there I will dissolve into self pity, and you guys all know what happens when you self pity during the teething season. It ain't pretty. 
  The next day my baby went on a nursing strike. This was of course just grand after nursing every 30 min or so the day before! It broke me down a little. I eked a little bit of my neediness out to one of my friends. She has 6 children. They are ages 1 to 9. I knew she would understand and she would not judge. I send my "before-cleaning-up" pictures to her, she knows my dirty secrets (pun intended) 

She replied back..... 

And so she did. She packed up her 6 children, lunch, cookies, snacks and descended onto my house in her minivan. Within 15 min I was in bed, sleeping, wondering why God was so good to me. I slept for an hr. When I woke up I felt like a new person. I emerged from the bedroom to find lunch made for me, my children fed and doing school with her children and the two youngest (besides the baby) napping with her two youngest. We sat down together to eat. After lunch she said "go take a shower now, while I clean up" I sped for the shower as fast as the road runner. My hair was so lank I resembled willie Nelson but without the awesome singing voice.  I felt so grateful I didn't know how to express it. It's hard for me to admit that my back is against the wall, and accept help. After lunch my mom appeared. She uncomplainingly rocked and fed a bottle of tea and milk to my baby who would take a bottle but would.not.nurse, all afternoon while I went to the grocery store, fixed and delivered food to a friend with a death in the family. 
  When I came back I told her humbly, "today was a day I could not have done it without help"! God sent me help, and I am so grateful. 
This picture looks cozy, 

But this is the TRUE picture! ;-) 
Now forgive me while I go fetch a second cup of coffee and a piece of chocolate. The baby is still teething you see, but it's ok. My heart is warm, the coffee pot is hot and my children are fed. It's enough. Life is enough. Wonderfully, painfully enough. 

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Love and Hats

  It is the month of Love. The month of watching Madly Madagascar, and eating meringue tarts from the old Betty Crocker cookbook.  It was the month of improvised Valentine gifts and a hastily knitted hat. It was the anniversary of our first "I Love You's" An event that is almost more memorable to me then our engagement.

   We told each other that we loved each other the first time, 12 years ago,  two weeks after we started dating, via text. Actually we were not dating yet. We were not allowed to date until April. We were in that terrible position of love and happiness but not yet allowed to be together. So via text he confessed that he loved me, 2 weeks after asking me out. I, the ultimately happy single girl after two failed relationships. I, the girl who could not say "I love you" to anybody, happily wrote back with my heart thudding, "I too, love you". I remember slipping my phone into my pocket, stuffing my hands down deep into my sweater and grinning as I realized that, no mistake, I loved this man.

I loved him more then my family.
I loved him more then anything.
I loved him and I knew I was going to marry him, and I did marry him in spite of the buffeting winds of disapproval.
I married him, and I did it with my eyes wide open.
I would marry him again, and again and yet again, I would.

He makes me snow ice cream, he brings me coffee in bed when I was up late with the baby. He orders my food in restaurants, without pressuring me about what I want and he wants children too. He wants to work to live, not live to work. He is noble and honest. He makes his mistakes right and he cherishes me.  I look at him and I think how stupid and naive I was 12 years ago, and I wonder why I was smart enough to marry this guy.

  A friend who I see very rarely told me she heard about a year and a half ago that MrB and I were on the brink of divorce. I snickered at the time line. You see, a year and a half ago, our little Bobana was being conceived. We were far too busy to get a divorce! We were far too busy living and loving together to think of "not" living together.

  I love February, not only is it the month of love, but it is also the month that MrB asked me if I would date him and how much he loves me. Its the month I told him how much I love him, and it was the month I knew my happy single life was over.

 So to celebrate this beloved occasion, I knit him a hat. A lovely worsted weight wool Antler hat by Tin Can Knits. Its a free pattern y'all. And a very fast knit. It only took me 6 days of knitting evenings and a few spare moments to finish it up from ribbing to weaving in the ends.

  I watched him leave this morning, with the two year old who scribbles wildly over any surface he can reach whenever a magic marker lands in his hand, who dips socks into the toilet and who puts pennies into his mouth, he wore the hat I knit him, and the 2 yr old wore his matching knit hat, and I felt my heart was full.